Goodness Gracious

​On being surrounded by people who are Good and believe themselves to be so. Sometimes in their overpowering belief of innate Goodness, it casts a strange shadow upon your own. Sometimes they get caught up in their own Goodness and believe that no other person may possess it more than they do. So you struggle to find your own Goodness and though you believe that you are and you have it, still, you cannot help but struggle further by believing you cannot be more than they are. Because they have always been Good. And you have always been Not so good. The irony that people tell you that past is past but bring it up first at every opportunity to remind you that you are Not so good. Despite your struggle to find and hope and believe that there must be some small drop of Goodness in you. And you try not to even talk, much less brag, about the things you do for redemption in the hopes of developing Goodness within. Still, others will never let you forget that their Goodness is more innate, more compelling. Sorry, I wasn’t even comparing myself to you. I just wanted to find my own.

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